It's My Life

New Year's Resolution

2012-01-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

It is beautiful out here today. 1 January 2012. And the weather is stunning.

My resolutions for this year:

Finally lose the weight. Finally.
Exercise every day. Every day.
Start saying no. At least once a week.
For every ridiculous historical romance novel, read a good book.
Spend a lot less money.

RIP Tree

2011-12-10T08:46:00.001-08:00

We had a dry hurricane here last week. We had wind registering 100 mph at the University. Two miles away at my house our 60 year old huge evergreen went down. I drove home increasingly nervous about our tree because I saw tree after tree down. When I turned left on my street I saw this:

I said to the kids, oh my god, stay in the car. I think our tree ate a car. I got out of the car and ran over to find a man standing there. He said he was stopped at the stop sign in front of our house, looked up and the tree fell on him. Down the road a bit a tree totaled a car - just smooshed it - it was in all the papers and all over the news. But my tree landed on this guy in his car and did no damage.

Here you see the tree from the street - notice that it is blocking most of the road. The white truck behind the tree is the City guy who said to me "it's your tree." I said, no shit, I know it's my tree. Let me wave my magic wand to fix it - because what they wanted was for me to pick it up and move it off the street. When I indicated the odds of my moving it in any kind of timely fashion were pretty slim, he called some other city guys and they chain sawed the guy's car out of the tree and cleared the tree off the road. Miraculously, the guy backed his car up and drove away - he has made no claim against my homeowner's insurance. Then two kids showed up and asked if we wanted to have him cut it all up and take it away for $500 - I said, yeah, go for it.

I cried and I laughed as I told this story. On my little quarter acre of land I have - had - 8 trees, now I have 7. And I loved my big evergreen - it housed the magpies who came every year to teach their babies to fly. It blocked the sun from the house and made the Princess's room very cool in the summer.

Once, when I was crying, the Princess told me it would be okay, we could plant another tree. She's right, and we will.

Fall Fun 2011

2011-10-23T15:47:00.000-07:00

Black Island Farms

Three years ago a whole crowd of my friends brought their kids to Black Island Farms and we got pumpkins and we played and had a lot of fun. I have not been able to get that crowd together since, so this year I went alone with my kids and one friend. Even my husband was not available, so my friend played the role of surrogate spouse.

When your husband is unavailable, you get to do all the cool stuff. Usually I am taking the pictures, this time I got to ride the slides. David and I did every slide together, even one that Elizabeth decided she did not want to do. Every slide.

Also, when your husband is not available, you are allowed to be a more permissive parent. I let David go alone in this little piggie ride - of course, his big sister was right in front of him, but off he went being pulled by a tractor. I actually could not see him for about 30 seconds, which was pretty scary.

We ended the day in a pumpkin patch, and we each got a pumpkin. Elizabeth picked for all of us and picked the biggest, fattest pumpkins she could find. And, of course, when your husband is not with you, you get to carry all the damn pumpkins.

Wonderful day!!

In the Black

2011-09-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

This was a hard week for me. I got a stomach bug that resulted in my not being able to stand for two days, missing two days of work, losing my voice, and 6 pounds. Then, as I rebounded from the stomach bug, I got a major head cold so now I can't breathe. I had sushi last night and at one point almost suffocated because I couldn't breathe around the dynamite roll in my mouth.

My nose hurts, my head hurts, my stomach hurt for a long time, and I am tired because I can't sleep.

BUT - through relentless hand washing and carefulness, my children have remained bug free. That is a positive. AND - my mammogram was normal this time as was my chick app't, so I am happy. No doctor's appointments until next August!!!

Thus, while down a bit for the count, I consider myself in the black.

Technological Addiction

2011-09-15T06:32:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I went to work without my iPad.

That was awful. I will not do that again.

Interesting how so quickly some gadget becomes so damn important.

David

2011-09-12T06:47:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today I had a beautiful baby boy. I remember that the song Beautiful Boy by John Lennon ran through my head over and over.

He was adorable and he made our family complete. And we were made symmetrical by his birth. Two brown eyed people, two blue eyed people; two Leos, two Virgos; two boys, two girls; two grown ups, two kids.

I loved spending time with him - reading, cuddling, being cute. He has been the best little brother and the best youngest member of our family.

His sister loves him very much and it has been wonderful watching the two of them figure out how to live with each other. They have such different personalities.

We love you David!!

My Baby Started Soccer

2011-09-10T10:54:00.000-07:00

Can it possibly be that it is four years later? My baby is playing soccer. She is adorable. And she loves her uniform - she is wearing it all day today.

Here she is - baby power!!

Where Did Summer Go?

2011-08-21T14:10:00.001-07:00

I spent two weeks here this summer - just two weeks. When I was younger, I believe I spent many weeks here over the summer. I am sad I won't be there again until next summer. Two short semesters and then I'll be driving back to Sacandaga. To spend time in the Adirondacks. To play. To let my soul revive. Summers go by way too fast - I am lucky, I have chosen a career that allows me to travel to New York in the summers and be there for a long time to recharge my batteries. I love Utah - I love living here. But I need to be at the lake for big chunks of time.

Next Generation

2011-07-18T08:53:00.000-07:00

How many times at Sacandaga have I dug a huge hole? I think I may have stopped doing so about 25 years ago but I did again this summer. Why? Because I brought my kids to Sacandaga and they dug a huge hole.

We are now on the third generation of kids at Sacandaga - my dad started when he was 2 or 3, I started when I was nine or ten months, and both Elizabeth and David were there before they were one. The best thing about it is that pictures like this look exactly the same - there's some of my Dad and some of me and now some of them - doing the exact same things.

While the world changes - Elizabeth listens to an iPod and I listened to CDs and Dad listened to vinyl - what children love to do does not change at all - digging huge holes in the sand, just because you can.

Doctor's Appointments

2011-05-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

Almost six years ago I was told at a doctor's appointment, which all people had assured me would be fine, that I was going to lose a baby I had been carrying in my womb for 21 weeks. This meant that all those odds that tell you if you have a solid heartbeat at 12 weeks you will have a 98% chance of having a healthy baby did not apply in my case - I had defeated the odds, and not in a good way.

Going back a year prior, I was told I had a weird looking uterus and I had a slim to none chance of having children. This was a result of a series of doctor's appointments and procedures from a horrifying experience with dye to a surgery.

I survived these things and now I have two beautiful children. But the cloud that hangs over me from those doctor's appointments has never really gone away. I had never been given bad news before then and appointments were just run of the mill. Now I dread every doctor's appointment that anyone I love goes to - every single one. Even though since 2005 I have had many normal appointments, many many more than bad, the feeling of having a doctor tell you something awful while you sit in a sanitized room stays with me. Somehow I have always believed that the sanitary nature of those doctor's rooms makes those meetings even more horrifying - you should really only get bad news when armageddon is happening around you.

The thing is, I know that whatever news I get, I will survive it. That's the worst part - actually - surviving. Adjusting your whole existence to accommodate the slice into your soul.

Tuesday my baby boy goes in for a procedure - that I have had, that my friends have had, that the doctor assures me will be no big deal and will just confirm her assumption that everything is fine. The cloud in my head that has been there now for six years is turning just a bit black. I am praying every time I think to pray - which might be 7 to 10 times a day.

Please pray for my baby boy too.

Morning Car Ride

2011-03-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

Princess: Mama, put on Shane's song.

Duchess: Okay. (puts on Mulan song make a man out of you and think to self, wow Donny Osmond's voice is pretty good, and think, holy crap did I just think that?) Starts singing: be a man, be a man...

Princess: Mama, they asked me to do it.

Duchess: Okay (thank God because I am now singing all the words to a Donny Osmond song and someone needs to shoot me)

Princess: (looking out the window) time is rushing toward us, before the Huns arrive...

Great ride in.

Put Your Hand on Your Tummy

2011-02-07T13:21:00.001-08:00

While driving this morning, I was commentating on all those drivers who seriously have no clue how to drive and who would very much benefit by my being in their backseat.

My daughter said, "Momma, put your hands on your tummy and breathe in and breathe out. Then you will be calm."

Love her - my conscience.

Lily and the Camera

2011-02-06T16:58:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while - okay maybe once a day - the Princess grabs the camera and starts shooting. As I am not one to censor artistic freedom, being a big supporter of the first amendment, I let her go. I love to see the pictures she takes. Over the months she has developed a kind of artistic sense - used to be all thumbs and fingers but now she arranges objects for portraits.

A favorite subject is toys - any toy. Here she has placed Bert in the car wash. I kind of like the look on his face.

But what I find most interesting is that I see the world from her perspective. Below she's in the kitchen taking a picture of Paul at the computer. It never occurred to me until I saw this how intrusive into her sight line the peninsula in our kitchen is. Just look at that counter jutting out. I used to giggle when she'd go around it about three feet away, but now I realize why.

My Life With Kids

2010-12-17T06:43:00.000-08:00

I decided a hundred years ago to become a college professor, which meant I went to school for 25 straight years and got my PhD when I was 30. This meant, or so I thought, that I could sleep in a good third of my life - all summer, all Christmas breaks. This is a good trade - I won't make much money and I'll be grading and thinking about classes and writing papers and answering questions about politics and having to sound smart when I do it for the rest of my life in any of my spare time (so I end up "working" all the time) - but I can sleep in for a full third of my life, and if I'm smart, I can schedule my life so that I get to sleep in all the time.

GREAT!

Then I met my children, who don't really care that's Christmas break and they are up ready to go at 545am. I say, please, I love you, please sleep a little longer. They say, of course Momma, we love you too, we'll give you until 630am, but during that time you need to get up and showered and ready for the day because if you don't it will be 8pm again before you have a breath to yourself. I am convincing myself this is a good trade too - wonderful children who love life and who are healthy and who are so freaking cute for not being able to sleep in. I figure at some point they will want to sleep in too...then we'll all sleep until 2pm all summer long.

Too Long

2010-12-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

It's been so long since I posted that major things have happened. There has been a detente developing between the two major super powers. While they do endeavor to annoy each other at any opportunity and at any given moment the older one can be heard screaming at the younger one and the younger one can be seen poking the older one - they actually play with each other.

Snow has arrived and with it the snow outfits. This might be my favorite part about winter now, it used to be the cold, I love the cold, but now I think it is young children decked out in winter gear trying to walk around the house while maintaining their dignity.

Finally, our son has become Tom Cruise - dancing around the house in his button down shirt and not much else.

Driving

2010-10-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

I just drove home from Anaheim - and thus had ample time to think about what makes Utah drivers unique.

They slow down in the passing lane - for some reason they hop out in front of you to pass the person and then slow down - why do you slow down when you are passing? Wouldn't that be the opportune moment for your fastest driving?
They slow down about 20mph when it is raining - lightest drizzle seems to send them into a tailspin, so they go to a crawl. Weirdest thing about this is they do 20mph faster when there is snow - go figure?
They think they are police officers - they like to drive about 5mph below the speed limit, generally in tandem so you can't get around them, to make sure everyone is obeying the law. Note to drivers - this causes problems and does not solve any of them.
They brake heavily going down hills - they are afraid (maybe) of the car going ass over tea kettle. Do you not realize that a car is not a mountain bike?
They like to sit on your back left bumper for hours - so you speed up to get around them and they speed up; so you slow down to let them pass and they slow down. Do you think you are my wing man? And if so, do you think I would pick you when you slow down in rain, speed up in snow, slow down while passing and brake for no apparent reason when approaching a hill???

Photography

2010-10-03T15:25:00.001-07:00

100 years ago, in a former life, I was going to be a photojournalist. That was my plan. So I actually have photography courses under my belt. And the rule then was take a million photos so that you get one good one. I still apply that - hoping on each import (they're not rolls anymore) that I will get a good one. And then I remembered, it's digital now. And I can make changes - like adding a flash when my flash didn't go off and cropping - and now I take my million photos and make them all the one.

My life just got much more difficult.

Utah v New York

2010-09-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

We traveled to New York last week. For the first time in years I was in New York in September. And it was beautiful. And hot. And humid. But definitely beautiful - I was in the Adirondacks when the leaves were beginning to change. And I had some thoughts - I could teach at Siena College or maybe even Adirondack Community College - wouldn't that be fun? Then we could live in the Adirondack Mountains. I'll post pictures soon about it.

Here we are in Utah - in our Rocky Mountains. We love to hike here. We love to sit on rocks here. It's never humid - and it is beautiful here.

And this is our view - over our shoulder whilst up on the mountain.

We love New York - but I think we are Utah grown...

What a Memory

2010-09-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

This morning on the car ride, this was the conversation:

Princess: "so, for Christmas, I'm thinking Santa can bring me a Mulan dollie, huh?"

Duchess: "I think that if there is such a thing as a Mulan dollie, that Santa would consider that."

Princess: "for Easter I got a pink basket with eggs and candy and a pink computer that kind of looks like an iPod, huh?"

Duchess: "no, I think the computer looks more like a laptop."

Princess: "right, a laptop. So I got a pink laptop and David got an alphabet singing circle, huh?"

Duchess: "nice memory, good job."
Princess: "so, for Easter, I'm thinking I want - oooh, what is that cloud doing?"

Duchess: privately to herself, "thank God for the cloud"

My Puppy

2010-09-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

This is my Hobbes - from a few years ago. He was the best dog ever. I miss him every day. The house is too quiet and there are far too many cheerios on the floor.

What a Great Summer

2010-08-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

We have had a fantastic summer. Lily turned 3 - to all sorts of Disney fanfare and extravaganza.

Our friends came to visit in July leading Lily to talk every day about "Charlotte and 'anessa" and when they are coming again.

The kids began to develop sibling relations - that sometimes contain rivalry, but mostly contain fun together. My favorite part of this is that the husband and I are not the all the time playmates, our time is down to about 85% from 98%.

But, perhaps the best was when I went with my dad and my husband to the new Yankee stadium to see the Yankees stomp a team - I saw a lead off homer by Jeter and a grand slam by Posada. It was fantastic!!

Of course, this summer has also cost me a kindred whom I loved very much my whole life, but that event runs a little too close to my soul for me to flippantly blog about, so I will come back to it later.

How New York is Different

2010-05-30T12:12:00.001-07:00

The things you notice when you leave home and then go back for visits.

New York is darker than Utah. This may surprise you, as you would think a place with many many more people than Utah would be much more lit up with cities, but because of the big trees you can't see further than 5 feet around you most of the time, so you can't see house lights. Therefore, sometimes you are driving on roads that you know your ancestors rode their horses on, and you know it doesn't look all that differently from the 17th century.
New York has a lot more green. The trees here are bigger, fuller, and much greener. Kermit would love it in New York while feel totally out of place in Utah. Every window you look out of is green. As you fly in, all you see is green.
New York is damp. When children spit up formula on themselves and you rinse it out with cold water, 3 days later it is still damp.
New York is full of pushy people from downstate. As they can travel here easily, they come upstate and push you around. While standing in line at the grocery store you can have your bum pushed by the old woman from Long Island's cart who has decided that your personal space really ought not to be respected at all. But now that you live in a friendly place, you don't tell her off.
New York smells better. There are no bizarre odors wafting around. Maybe it's because the factories are all better behaved because we actually have government here. Or maybe it's because the factory smells are more contained because of all the trees we have here, but it smells better...

Ah wait, I slipped into the first person pronoun. I've been here too long. Now this is home and Utah is Utah...I wonder how many years it will take before that doesn't happen when I visit...

Grouse grouse grouse SMOOCH

2010-05-16T17:29:00.000-07:00

My husband grouses all the time. He grumbles whenever he does something that causes something to be wrong. Now, to be totally fair and give him his due, when I do something wrong he is never angry or frustrated. He always just patiently fixes my mistakes. When he does something wrong, all hell breaks loose. And he grumbles and he grumbles. And I usually laugh at him or point out how he could do it better, which, I assure you, is not the nicest move on my part and is not very helpful.

Tonight the Princess found a much better way to handle the grouse. He launched the screen door off its track while trying to put it back on the track. Grumble grumble grouse grouse - to which I say, "would you like me to do it?" - implying, of course, that I could do it better (again, not very nice and not very helpful). I look out the door and the baby angel runs up, grabs his face by the cheeks and gives him a big kiss. Which results in a big smile.

Much better.

You know you're a political scientist when

2010-05-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

The hubby and I had a fun fight the other night. I say fun because I don't think either of us were really all that angry and periodically throughout the arguing while I yelled profanities at him I laughed and he laughed - but it was a fight. It broke some underlying tension in our relationship free from behind the veil we hide these things and we dealt with it, a bit.

But you know you're a political scientist when you say to your husband the next day after a brawl, "I think the problem with our marriage right now is we are suffering from a lack of social capital" and he says "yeah, we're both real busy," and you say, "yeah, we're bowling alone, let's have a date." And the entire conversation makes sense to both of you because you've both read Putnam and it's a referent that works...

My Baby Girl

2010-05-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

My baby girl comes by it honestly. I have fallen asleep reading books my entire life. I think part of the reason I worry about getting an iPad or Kindle is I am sure I will drop it one night.

She loves to dance and sing and play. She never sits still, unless she is not feeling well. If she is sad she tries to smile through it. My favorite memory is her crying when a friend stopped by and she looked at my friend and smiled through her tears - she was about 10 months old, so it's a natural quality she has.

Lately she has begun telling me when I am doing something wrong. She'll say "Momma, you yelled at me" or "Momma, you are yelling at Daddy" and sometimes she'll ask "Momma, what you doing?" And I think to myself, whatever it is I am doing I want it to be something I am fine with her doing. I am becoming much better behaved. I don't swear as much, I don't snap as much, I don't roll my eyes as much - generally, I am becoming a much better person, because I am becoming the person I want my baby girl to be.

BBC Coverage

2010-05-08T18:50:00.000-07:00

Today the Utah Republicans decided that Bob Bennett wasn't conservative enough - so they booted him. There will be a primary between two men - a lawyer and a businessman. The BBC covered it - saying the Tea Party had dumped a sitting Republican senator in the United States.

It's always fun to be covered internationally...

Understanding

2010-05-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

My daughter gets up about 15 times a night before she goes to bed. I don't find this frustrating because I understand it.

I was thinking about it the other night and I was remembering how desperate I was as a little person to get into a picture like this. I wanted to be up late at night, eating dinner, drinking wine, having good conversation and have someone take a picture of the group I was in.

There are millions of these photos in my family - they exist over the years and across the miles. Murrays stay up eating and drinking wine deep into the darkness of the night - and at some point someone who is less drunk than the rest hops up and takes a picture of everyone leaning in over the table. They are in frames all over the world - as I have family in Australia.

Last week I went out to dinner with my Utah friends and family and we took a picture - it is now up in my house as a testament to good drink, good conversation and good food. And as a testament to why my daughter, who herself is probably more Murray than she realizes, wants to be up at night too...

As we say "Eat, Drink and be Murray, for tomorrow you may die!"

A Daddy and Growing Up

2010-05-04T07:31:00.000-07:00

Here is the Duke and the Prince as a baby.

Here is the Duke and the Princess as a baby.

Sometimes we hit an obstacle. Duke would like these babies to be this big all the time - the same way he loves kittens and wants kittens but never really cats - so he denies their growth. The Princess has been potty trained now for about 5 1/2 months - we hardly ever have accidents and when there is an accident, she will say something like "that was because I was so excited about Madagascar" or something. We also have not had a wet pull up in the morning in weeks. I keep saying it's time to let her sleep on her own, commando. My husband keeps saying, I think she needs the pull ups. I may just put my foot down - but my worry is the minute I do that she will wet her bed, and then I'll pay for it for years.

Summer Semester

2010-05-03T07:53:00.000-07:00

Our university just switched to a trimester approach - and we are in our transitional phase. Which means I handed grades in last Tuesday for spring semester and today I started teaching summer semester.

Is that insane, or what? I mean, seriously, who is ready for their next semester so quickly?

But in other news, I got tenure and promotion, so I am not complaining all that much. In fact, I am not really complaining at all, but wonder at the reasoning behind this scheduling.

Long Day

2010-04-29T08:03:00.001-07:00

Here's my husband with the kids skyping with his parents. He is such a good father and does a ton of the work with the kids - he gets up at night with them, he plays with them, he cleans them and cooks for them. He has never considered himself a babysitter, he is always a co-parent.

In this spring sport season here in Utah, however, he becomes a parent to 45 boys as he coaches lacrosse. He has done this since 2006 and thoroughly enjoys it. Before we had children I attended as many game as I could. Since we have had children, I attend the home games with the kids if I can persuade a close family friend to go with me for support.

Yesterday he left at 7am for work and got home at 945pm. It was a long day. I was barely out of the shower when he left and almost asleep when he got home.

The last time we did this he was working for the New York State Senate during budget season - but we didn't have 2 kids. So I was very tired last night and I woke up today with sore muscles, because taking care of kids is exercise. The kids are fun and funny and cute and I adore them, but they exhaust me. I will be happy when it's fully summer and I have my co-parent again, because we all miss him.

Back to Work

2010-04-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

The weekly babysitter is coming and I am getting to the office today. While I have work to do, and will be glad for the time out of the house, I will miss my little guys who are too cute!!!

Good luck to Sara who is our once a week in the summer babysitter!

Stay at Home Mom

2010-04-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

The school year is done - it's summer time! And the princess is out of pre-school...

and the prince is out of daycare...

And - I am a stay at home mom...

Bike Riding

2010-04-24T16:28:00.000-07:00

Last year for her second birthday, we gave her this tricycle. She can actually ride it now. We rode, slowly, down the street and back and learned that our street has a very slight incline as it was much easier going in one direction than the other. She did very well and when it was over said "can I go down the hill" and I said, "no, not until you can ride back up the hill" - because I can just see myself with a baby in a stroller, a dog on a leash and a toddler on a tricycle pushing up the hill that real bikers have issues with - hopefully not until next year!

Head Cold 1 Duchess 0

2010-04-08T07:13:00.001-07:00

So I am home sick today. I am keeping the children home with me, mostly because Elizabeth kept me up all night so she needs more sleep than she would get at school and why bring David in when we're all here. So I will suck on a ton of lozenges and drink a bunch of hot tea and pray that we can all travel tomorrow. I mean, we're traveling whether we can or not, so I guess I am praying we all can handle it without being miserable.

Head Cold

2010-04-07T07:54:00.000-07:00

Well it has happened. After an entire school year of no colds at all I have been nailed, just as spring begins, with a nasty head cold. It has decided to settle in my throat - which is better than my chest, I assure you, I know - and make me pretty much mute. It's an interesting problem to have when one is a professor in the last weeks of class with a million things to tell students about - they can't hear me or understand me, but I soldier on acting as though my voice were perfect.

And - I am supposed to do a reading in my stepbrother's wedding this weekend - I am so hoping the frog has vacated by then or at least I am more understandable.

Mother Visit

2010-04-06T07:29:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a week both our kids slept through the night - there was no 3am poop fest in the crib and no 230am toddler visit who wants to "sleep" in our bed. I kind of woke up at 5am and thought, phew, I got a full night's sleep and now I can snuggle in for another 45 minutes with the hubby until the day starts.

The phone rings. My mother has locked the keys in the car she borrowed from us with the car running down at the hotel she is staying at. My wonderful husband climbs out of bed, drives through a random spring blizzard down to the hotel to let her in to the car.

Does anyone still wonder why we live in Utah?

Literature Review

2010-03-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

I may just stop assigning literature reviews because every time I read them the students are plagiarizing. Do they not understand that if they are reviewing someone else's work that there MUST be some citing of the work somewhere? That turning in an assignment without a bibliography is completely UNACCEPTABLE?

What are they teaching them in those required writing courses? Or do they think those skills only belong in that four month semester?

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

Good Things

2010-03-21T11:43:00.001-07:00

Today the Princess figured out how to open the door. Since our backyard gates are locked, I'm not too worried about her wandering out into the street at 2am. But I am very happy because her favorite thing to do is let the dog out - which means, one less chore for me!

3 Generations

2010-03-20T15:19:00.001-07:00

I went to Syracuse because my Daddy went to Syracuse who went to Syracuse because he rooted for Orange sports. We will spend the next 18 years outfitting the children with Syracuse clothing, rooting for them in all sports, but most especially football, basketball and lacrosse. We will randomly sing "the Cuse is in the house, oh my god oh my god" or "it's great, uh huh, to be, that's right, an SU Orange" while cleaning or cooking or raking or any other house related -ing. And our kids will be the third generation at Syracuse University - and we will owe somewhere in the range of $300K for college expenses. We should start one of those college accounts right now.

Just for the information - the Duke did not go to Syracuse University because he lamely went to the little school in Syracuse, Le Moyne College. He does, however, root for Orange sports similar to my father - much anger and anguish accompany being a fan of the Orange. Thus the Prince and Princess will receive much legacy (3 generations of SU graduates and if they get a degree in the Maxwell School as did their mother and grandfather we will get box seats at their graduation - because that's how private school rolls) and much orange wearing, Cuse rooting, football swearing, Boeheim worshipping (of course their father is a townie, and all townies should be forbidden from the Hill, but we love him and thus tolerate his affection)

Spring in Utah

2010-03-15T16:10:00.000-07:00

Another reason I love it here in Utah is the spring. Spring in Utah is beautiful. It doesn't rain on you or plop big, gross sleet on you. It's not cloudy 2/3 of the time. It is beautiful. The sun is out. The days are long. There are no bugs. It is beautiful.

Made even more beautiful this year by a 2 year old singing "ride my bike...ride my bike...ride my bike" as she rides around the ten foot square block we let her ride her bike in. (lest you think I am a Nazi mom, which I may very well be but not for this, we have no sidewalks)

From a distance I now hear a little radio flyer bell chiming and the sound "I did it!!" as last year she could not make it ring.

I love spring.

Sleep Deprivation

2010-03-12T09:47:00.000-08:00

The 2 year old has figured out how to open her bedroom door. Last night, or very early this morning, we awake to a little body climbing in our bed at 2am. She then proceeds to "need to use the potty" - "lost Teddy" - " need to use the potty" - "what color are Mama's eyes" until about 3am. I pick her up and carry her to her bed so my husband's head doesn't explode. She then chats with me about birds until about 430am.

I had great pleasure waking her up today at 755am to go on a field trip. Of course, she bounces out of bed - how does she do that??

Utah Love

2010-02-25T13:39:00.000-08:00

I wrote yesterday how much we love Utah and how we are planning on being here for a while. I have been thinking about why.

One of the reasons we love Utah follows.

We lived in a state where we saw sun on maybe 90 days a year, a little less where Paul grew up and a little more where I grew up. Here in Utah we see sun on 285 days a year. Today - I woke up to driving snow and now it is almost 50 degrees and the sun is shining. You never really need a heavy coat because the sun always warms you - no matter the temperature. And when the weather comes, you can see it for miles. We watched the clouds roll in yesterday afternoon and today I am watching them roll out - and they are not gray clouds here, they are beautiful white clouds. Just like paintings. If you were painting skies, this is where you would want to be - most days.

Never underestimate the power of the sun for your disposition.

About Utah

2010-02-24T08:12:00.001-08:00

It looks like we'll be staying here for a while. I have been thinking about why I like Utah so much, given how not like me that is.

A million years ago, when I was 18, I traveled to Tempe, Arizona for a Bowl Game - back when Syracuse actually won football games. And I remember getting off the plane and feeling comfortable - for the first time ever. At the time I thought I must be having some connection with some former life lived in the southwest. I had the same feeling eight years ago when I arrived for a job interview and then came out to find a home. Maybe my Type A, fast paced personality really thrives in the laid back western culture.

My husband spent the months between my job acceptance and our arrival reading the local newspaper online and looking at pictures and learning everything he could about Ogden, Utah. He really committed early - probably earlier than I did. When we moved I said to my usually homesick self, self, we are not leaving Utah for at least one year so we can make sure we give it a chance. And I did. And the weird thing is, when I went to New York, I only missed it for the first couple of hours after leaving. For the first time in my life I lived very far away from my people and was not homesick at all. And while I like to get home in the summers to spend time on my lake in the Adirondacks, I also like to get back to Utah in the summers as well.

Whenever I say to him, would you like to look for work back east, he says, why? We love it here. And he's right, we love it here.

Reporting on my Life

2010-02-23T13:27:00.000-08:00

Good things:

Back to work and loving teaching.
Finishing scholarly projects and getting brain set to think of new ones this summer.
Got good letters from department, college and the Dean - so should be job secure.
Healthy, not so wealthy as to cause problems but just enough wealthy to survive, and relatively wise.
Great family - see above - who make me smile all the time.

Bad things:

Nothing.

My Big Girl!

2010-02-21T17:03:00.000-08:00

Tonight we look around and the Princess is missing so we walk down the hall and she's using the potty all by herself - never thought I'd care so much about someone else's bathroom habits - but HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT!!!

Motherhood 2 - Duchess 0

2010-02-12T10:08:00.000-08:00

Whilst walking into pre-school today, carrying the Princess, her back pack, her valentines and her cookies we (I) made for her class - I dropped them all. Luckily no living thing was hurt, but the cookies took a hit.

Getting that Martha Stewart magazine, which was supposed to help me become a better mom, hasn't really delivered.

Valentine's Day

2010-02-10T11:31:00.001-08:00

I generally do not care about these Hallmark holidays. Valentine's Day is a day I always had a date on but I do not care to get gifts or cards or anything for this stuff. I think you get stuff for Christmas, Easter and your birthday. Three major annual events is good enough for adults.

For children, however, I have always believed I would be the kind of mother who would do neat things on these dates. And so I find myself, at my scrapping group, realizing that Valentine's Day is one of those damn days that children care about. They have these swanky Valentines they've worked on and prepared for - and I'm all, what? When is Valentine's Day? What?

So this year, the Princess and I will be making cookies for her class to compensate for the lame Disney Princess and Cars valentines we will be handing out. Next year, by God, I will start making her Valentines in October. They will sing and dance and bling like nothing you have ever seen!

Momhood - 1, the Duchess - 0

My Last Twelve Hours

2010-02-09T10:48:00.000-08:00

1158pm - crying from Elizabeth's room. I go up and offer to sleep with her. She wants to come sleep in our bed. I am too tired to deal with it, so I carry her downstairs.

1215am - in our bed, in the dark, she announces "I have to go potty." Paul carries her upstairs to go potty and puts her back to bed.

315am - crying from Elizabeth's room. I go up and offer to sleep with her, she says "I'm missing Daddy." So downstairs we go again.

330am - in our bed, in the dark, she announces "I have to go potty." Paul carries her upstairs to go potty and puts her back to bed.

6am- my alarm goes off to start my day.

8am - I am trying to get Elizabeth awake for school as we need to leave at 815am, thinking, if you didn't wake up twice during the night you'd wake up no problem right now, curse word curse word.

I am wearing a wrap.

805am - Elizabeth wakes up, looks at me and says "super Momma! dododododo" in perfect Superman timing.

806am - all my frustration and tiredness is defeated in the face of her absolute cuteness

My Ballerina

2010-02-08T14:00:00.000-08:00

Here we are, chatting about the world.

My favorite thing she says as we walk in the door - "I need a crown, a tutu and my wings." And I have to get her into her crown, her tutu and her wings. The appropriate outfit for any afternoon.

She was Right

2010-01-22T06:01:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who weighs maybe 110 pounds soaking wet. One day a couple of weeks ago, another friend and I were chatting with her about weight loss. Now, my other friend and I have been doing the weight watchers dance for years and we were lamenting our low metabolism and our general lack of control. My tall, thin friend says to us "if you stop eating carbs after 6pm the pounds will melt off." To which I thought, phphphphphph.

This past weekend I had a ton of family in for a baptism. I ate and ate and ate (my skinny friend made the most delicious cake I have had in a while) and ate and ate and ate - resulting in gaining 5 pounds. So yesterday I didn't eat after 6pm, mostly because I wasn't feeling well, but also because I was so disgusted with myself (I've been working hard to lose weight and had been down 13 pounds). Woke up this morning and dropped 4 of the 5 pounds.

Seriously? Seriously? Just not eating after 6pm and the weight came off? Seriously? Maybe the reason she weighs 110 pounds soaking wet is because she knows these things.

My Friday End of Day

2010-01-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

I pick up my daughter from her pre-school at 1pm and then head out to my son's day care to pick him up. What used to be a 6 minute commute now takes 1 hour. I get home and pull in my driveway about 2pm. It's freezing outside in the low 20s at my house. I get my daughter out of the van and say, head to the door, it's cold out here. She says she's getting the mail and runs down the driveway. I drop the four bags I am carrying, two of hers and two of mine, and chase after her. Luckily she stops before hitting the street and the car that was zooming around the corner. I say, here's the mail, please go to the house. She says okay and starts up the driveway. I walk to the other side of the van to get my son in his infant carrier. I turn and look and my daughter has taken off down the middle of the street running. I drop the infant carrier and the two bags my son has in the driveway and haul ass down the street in my heels. I catch my daughter and run her back to the driveway. I walk her up the walk and grab my son's infant seat. I get him inside the house and turn to see that my daughter has decided to climb the rather large evergreen in the front yard. I also notice my dog has eaten one of my plants. He has been barking at us ever since we pulled in the driveway. I run to get my daughter and get her inside. My son is screaming because I had to wake up him from his nap at daycare to bring him home. My daughter is telling me repeatedly to take off her coat and that Hobbes has destroyed a plant. I get her coat off and send her off for her play in her room. I get my son out of his carrier and into his crib, where he proceeds to scream for about 30 minutes before resuming his nap. I go back outside to grab the six bags I have left in the driveway and on my way back in realize that not only did my dog eat my plant but also decided to poop in the dining room. I drop the bags and proceed to clean up the dog poop, during which time my daughter screams that she needs lollipops. Of course we don't have any lollipops, but this reasoning is lost somewhere in the fit as I persuade her that actually she wants to eat some fruit for her afternoon snack. Finally I have her situated so she's eating fruit and calm. I then can finish cleaning up the poop in the dining room. Now, finally, I can have something to eat at 230pm having not eaten since 6am when I woke up my household because it takes us all hours now to get out of the house. I eat quickly and then take all the stuff out of the bags and put the items where they go. Laundry into the laundry basket, bottles into the sink, and bags put away in closets. Then I chase my daughter around the house while trying to get her to use the potty. The dog has gone to the door 15 times pretending he'd like to go outside and then pouts when I open the door. In two hours my husband will arrive at home having spent the day watching someone else teach and say how exhausted he is.

I really would like to know how my LDS friends and neighbors do all this without saying the F word. Seriously, I just don't think "oh my heck" covers it.

My Daughter is Freaking Cute

2010-01-07T20:37:00.001-08:00

The Princess is potty trained. And whenever she uses the potty at pre-school she runs to tell every teacher "I did it!" She is so proud of herself and I am so proud of her. And I think it's so freaking cute that she tells everyone.

E - X - I - T

2010-01-06T15:03:00.000-08:00

On the way out of preschool today - the Princess says "E - X - I - T - EXIT!" As she read the exit sign. My husband says this isn't reading. My friend with a phd in English says it is. So, I'm picking the expert as trump - so when she asks me when she read, I'm going to say "a - g - e - 2, AGE 2!!!"

Day Care

2010-01-04T18:51:00.000-08:00

These are my two babies. I left the younger one in institutional day care today and the older one starts tomorrow. I hate that I am paying someone to take care of them. But, I loved being back at work. All my synapses started firing on all cylinders. I enjoyed the repartee with the Methods kids who all think I am going to kill them. I enjoyed being on campus and the buzz that being a professor has. So, my children will survive day care. They might even enjoy the socialization they get from it. They will probably be better for it. And the teacher the Princess has and the nurse the Prince has will probably give them some good love.

And I will hate that they are being taken care of by someone else. But I will love that they have a Momma who is the breadwinner.

Ciao 2009

2009-12-31T11:39:00.000-08:00

Life is good. I have a job, a home, a healthy family, nothing to complain about. 2009 was good, 2010 will be even better! Here are my goals:

Get healthy. It's time to lose all the weight I have gained since I moved here and then some. It's time to get the body necessary to run around playing soccer and kickball with my children without losing my breath.
Be more patient. I oftentimes spend too much energy being annoyed with things I have no control over. I have found infinite patience with my 2 year old because I think she's adorable. I need to find that patience with my students, my husband, my pets, my friends and myself.
Be a better scholar. I need to spend more of my professional time doing political science and a little less time teaching and doing service. I miss doing papers, I miss asking questions. It's time to pick up those projects that are waiting for rewrites and get to work on them. There is time.
Get together with friends more. It's been a major life change for me to have two children. I have become much more Shrekish and I need to get out more. I need to ask people to watch the kids more and I need to be a better friend and not just squeeze them in when I have time. I need to make time.
Stop apologizing. I still do it, I still say I'm sorry all the time. Which makes the real apologies meaningless. I do not need to apologize for everything. I hear my daughter saying I'm sorry for things she has no need to apologize for, and I know she gets it from me. (I've been working on this one for years but this year I am going to do it!)

Blu Ray Stuff is Cool

2009-12-30T15:47:00.000-08:00

We are almost all set up here. Just waiting for DirecTV to come and give us our HD box. But we now have internet streaming into our giant television - so we can movies from Netflix and we can get Pandora radio on our surround sound. Pretty cool stuff.

Weird Brushes with One's Past

2009-12-29T20:54:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, many many moons ago, I read the entirety of Sherlock Holmes. I remember lying in my bed at night reading and reading and reading - long before my bad taste in historical romance ruined my reading. I loved Sherlock Holmes. This explains my love for House, my love for CSI, my love for Bones and X-Files. The use of deductive reasoning, the use of forensic science, the use of logic to ascertain what is happening is eminently attractive to me. Data data data.

I had a yearning to go see Sherlock Holmes, thinking it was mostly my love for Robert Downey Jr, but while in the theater I remembered that I knew these stories. I remembered I knew the big bad. I had forgotten how much I knew but clearly my soul remembered and urged me to the movie on an impulse when our other plans fell through due to bad roads. After the movie, which I enjoyed despite the mating rituals of the teenagers sitting next to me, I rushed home and found my old leather bound Sherlock book waiting for me to rediscover him in my bookcase. This book has traveled with me from my childhood - from the house I grew up in to my house in Syracuse to my apartment in Ravena to my flat in Albany to my house in Utah - with my total loss of memory it was in my life. Unfortunately no one wrote in the front pages so I have no idea how I got it or who got it for me.

I am settling in to read it again and am feeling just a touch nostalgic about the fact that my young fingers traveled these pages years ago. I LOVE Holmes.

Morning with New Television

2009-12-28T10:08:00.000-08:00

At 1230am last night we fed the baby and finally went to sleep - so the television is in. I think it looks good - the biggest problem was actually the sound system, which is not supposed to be a problem. I offered Paul a beer but he didn't think that would be helpful. We were very worried we had blown the subwoofer that is only a couple of years old - and then Paul realized he had the wires in wrong. Then everything was fine - for everyone.

This morning Lily came down and said "it's too high."

I love children.

Installing the New Television

2009-12-27T21:46:00.000-08:00

We bought a new Plasma HD whatever blah blah blah snore television for my husband's Christmas gift. I saved for it, collected donations, and he thought and thought about what to get. It took months of agonizing about this decision.

First thing he suffered serious buyer's remorse. "I don't deserve the television." Seriously? We are in the Best Buy two days after Christmas with a toddler who is newly potty trained and a 3 month old infant. The infant slept, pretty much, the whole time. The toddler had to "try the potty" three times - which entails one of us rushing to the restroom - we have learned to scope out the facilities the second we walk into a store, we know all the restrooms now after years of never having used a public one - saying rather loudly, "try the potty try the potty." The toddler was also dismayed when some IDIOT decided to turn Cars off the televisions and put on True Blood - seriously? Now, I love Eric as much as the next kook, but seriously? She was not happy. Running around the store in her boots, jacket, sunglasses, mittens and hat. You never know when a blizzard with a major sunny day might just blow through the Best Buy. Oh - and - seriously? We're having buyer's remorse now? Who has time for this?

Second thing we broke down the old system. Let me explain this: when I first met my husband I think there were 45 remotes in his living room. You needed 5 to turn on the other 40 which then in some bizarre combination worked the sound, television, cd player, etc etc. I have begged for years for a single universal remote. These pleas apparently are in Swahili because he doesn't ever understand or hear them. Breaking down this system took quite a while. Then my husband read a book while I vacuumed and swept and generally got the areas ready for the new installation. His reading a book didn't bother me as I understand the low frustration tolerance we are working with here and that reading a book lowers his heart rate in preparation for the big project.

Third we built the new television's stand. Apparently these new televisions need magic stands which take 90 minutes to put together and weigh 129 pounds. We will never move this thing again - we will hire big men to move it when we have to move it. My husband and I are very synergistic when we put together furniture - so no big problems, just a lot of double checking the instructions. Because apparently instructions no longer have words.

Fourth he is putting back together the sound system with its 45 remotes. Well, all right, to be fair, I have him down to 5 remotes now. This system has 6 speakers, many wires, a receiver that pretty much could launch a shuttle to the moon and a whole bunch of cables. All of these cables look exactly alike but do many different things. The concern here is we are adding a Blue Ray - I have NO idea why but apparently we have to have one, I guess it will be cool to have Netflix stream directly to our television although I do worry a bit about the potential Post Office ramifications, I mean will people lose jobs? - and who knows what cable we are supposed to use. I have removed myself, because pretty much I am useless at this. I hear from the den low muttering sounds as my husband tries to figure out how all this goes together.

We started this whole process at 7pm. It is now 11pm. And we have yet to turn on the new television which will apparently change my life for the so much better.

Thank God for technology.

Like Granddaughter, Like Grandfather

2009-12-26T21:59:00.000-08:00

My daughter opened and put on immediately the wings Santa brought. Then she opened and put on her sunglasses. Then she opened and put on the 10 headbands. She looked adorable.

And I remembered my father's 30th birthday (he was young when I was born so I actually remember this party) and how he opened and put on everything he was given. And his 50th birthday when he opened and put on everything he was given.

Genetics are very interesting...if only I could find one of those photos...

Shopping

2009-12-24T12:37:00.001-08:00

With all due deference to my LDS friends, here is my experience shopping in Utah today.

I head out to the grocery store to buy food for Christmas Dinner. We are having roast beast accompanied by all sorts of goodies. I am wearing my iPod listening to fabulous music like Michelle Featherstone and Griffin House and Tristan Perryman (keeps me sane, otherwise I start a running commentary in my head of how many stupid there are in the world). I decide to buy my husband a case of beer for his Christmas dinner. Standing in line I am loading my stuff up onto the belt. I grab (while singing softly the music I am listening to) the case of beer, wrong as it turns out, and it slides down my body in slow motion to the floor where it explodes. As anyone who has ever had a drink in any bar can tell you, drop a bottle of beer flat to the floor and it explodes - not in a glass crunching way, but more in a volcano exploding way. I did that with a case of beer. I proceed to say, rather loudly over the music in my ears, "F &#$ K" - yes, I did. I said it. And just like in A Christmas Story, time froze. And also just like in a Christmas Story, I looked up to see all sorts of old people wanting to wash my mouth out with soap. Luckily there were no children in the vicinity. Then I said "OH MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY."

Then I hunched myself over and slunk myself out of the grocery store (after paying of course) as many many very good Mormon eyes looked at me and thought, that heathen just hit the trifecta: bought beer, said the F word, and then violated one of the top three commandments.

I am so never getting that special underwear...

Ride Home Tonight

2009-12-23T22:10:00.000-08:00

Setup: Paul and I drive separately to a party. I drive home the children and he drives home alone. We leave at the same time and he puts the Princess in the van, shuts the door and walks away.

Car ride:

Lily - sobbing: "Daddy, come back, Daddy come back."

Me - feeling badly: "Daddy is right behind us, honey, we're all going home."

Lily - still sobbing: "I sad. Missing Daddy."

Me - still feeling badly but thinking it's cute: "Daddy is in the car next to us, honey, look!"

(much bad driving in which Paul and I try to get her to wave to him in his car)

Lily - not sobbing anymore: "Momma, please play Tomorrow."

Me - thinking we have gotten over the worst of it: "You want Annie?"

Lily: "Yes."

(put on Annie album on nano - thank the Lord for the nano)

Lily and me - at the top of our lungs: "TOMORROW TOMORROW I LOVE YA TOMORROW"

Pictures as Christmas Gifts

2009-12-23T06:31:00.000-08:00

I sent to certain people - grandparents, godparents, great-grandparents - pictures of cute children as Christmas gifts. I was worried about the narcissism of that. But the reports are coming in and people seem to be very happy to have received them, so maybe it was okay.

Here is my Christmas wish list:

To see my dearest friends, the Bambergs.
To get to see Cirque Love in Las Vegas.
To get home to Sacandaga for a long sit on the moss.
To watch Elizabeth enjoy opening presents at Christmas for the first time.
For all my friends to be happy and healthy and for me to have more time to see them.

Christmas in Utah

2009-12-17T08:44:00.001-08:00

I'm kind of proud of my heritage. I have traced my family in this country back to the 1600s, when they colonized New York. My grandpa still owns 40 acres of a tract of land that descends from them. We also have a certificate hanging in his house for a tract of 40 acres of land for service in the War of 1812 that some ancestor of mine did. I have ancestors who fought in the French and Indian War, the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, and I have relatives who have fought in every war since. I kind of like this American heritage.

Then I moved west and I felt very American as I did it. As I tell my students, it takes a particular kick in your stride to be the kind of crazy person to move far away from home to make a go of it. Now of course, I did this in the age of internet, telephones, airplanes, so it's not quite as cool as my ancestors who came over from Holland. But - I think it is in that great tradition. I live far away from home - in a beautiful place with native people with their own customs and I try to fit in - maybe I should offer them a turkey at Thanksgiving time...

My family, and my children's family, which of course is larger than mine because it includes my husband's family, don't quite understand this. They all live within driving distance of each other and if they don't, they are desperate to get to driving distance. When they tell me I should move home, I nod and smile, which I generally do for all people's opinions that I am ignoring.

I love it here. I love the mountains, I love the dry air, I love the snow all winter, I love the heat all summer - I love it here. And I have found my own tribe here, so I actually do live near family - just not biological family.

And I have just discovered another thing I love about living here - everyone has to mail you presents, so you have presents under the tree for 2 weeks!! That never happened when I lived 5 minutes from my family, because they all just brought the presents on Christmas day.

Love it here. Love celebrating Christmas with my family here.

Potty Training

2009-12-12T09:50:00.000-08:00

I have never washed so many panties with Elmo and Disney Princesses on them; I have never been so attuned to someone else's bathroom habits; here I am potty training.

I do not know why, after potty training, anyone would have more children. This is HARD!!

But she looks super cute in her little big girl panties and clothes. And she's super proud of herself, so while hard, it's adorable!

Things of Note

2009-12-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

Some things to note.

My daughter is wearing panties, having pooped and peed on the potty.
My son is sleeping through the night - making it from 10pm until 8am the other night.
My cholesterol is 163 - which apparently is worse than when it was 204 five years ago (I don't quite understand that...but I have to eat more fish and less bread)
My maternity leave is almost over, I spent 5 hours at work today and it was GREAT.
My house is surrounded by swirling snow, which makes living in Utah fabulous!!!

Life is good.

Pre School

2009-12-03T14:40:00.000-08:00

This is my baby - dressed as a bee on Thanksgiving - because bee costumes are good for Thanksgiving. She is, as people tell me, a character. I fully support her freedom of expression.

Today my husband and I visited her pre-school class to read the children stories. It was kind of like an anthropological visit - to be with the toddlers in their natural environment. And it was fun. First, Paul and I sat in the hallway waiting to go in. The class got back from running around time (I think adults should have this built into their days too, just a 30 minute free for all every day would make lots of people much happier) to head into the classroom for story time. The kids walk back to the room and my baby climbs over every toy on her way. She sees us in the hall, walks right past us saying, hi Daddy and Momma. We follow the class into the room and sit during circle time. She keeps looking at us. Then we read our stories and she claps at the end. Then we all sat in little little chairs and had lunch together. She was great - her friends were great. At one point she tripped and fell into one of the other little girl's lap and said "Sorry Clara." Clara was not muffed at all.

It was quite possibly the most wonderful 60 minutes I have spent yet as a parent.

But my favorite moment was when we were singing we're going on a bear hunt and Clara yelled out to Paul afterward - "good job Daddy!" Apparently he needed a boost...

High Cholesterol

2009-12-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

I have high cholesterol. She gave me a list of numbers and I have no idea what they mean other than my good cholesterol is too low and my bad cholesterol is too high. I asked the nurse if I would die of a heart attack between now and when I go in to talk to my doctor about it and she said no, it wasn't that bad. I have always said that if I had a medical issue I would be much better about exercise and diet - meaning, I am a good patient. Whatever my doctor tells me to do I will do, so if I were to be allergic to sugar, I would never eat it again. That day has come, I have now officially been diagnosed with a problem due to my bad habits. I don't want to die young and I don't want heart disease. So it is time to get my arse in gear and get in shape. 2010 will be the year of getting healthy. No more snacking at night. No more desserts. No more not working out. I plan to beat this cholesterol thing with no drugs - good diet, good exercise, and good behavior.

My Children

2009-11-22T08:24:00.000-08:00

Here's a great video of my kids! In David's bedroom.

Elizabeth

2009-11-14T15:38:00.000-08:00

Momma - I'm spinning.
Good.
Momma - I'm falling. I'm okay. I'm trying to spin again. I'm falling. I'm okay. I'm done.

I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants.

Halloween

2009-11-01T07:28:00.000-08:00

Sans the prince, here's my family for Halloween.

Griffin House Genius Playlist

2009-10-29T09:36:00.001-07:00

Love the new nano - just pressed a button on Griffin House's Let Me In and it made a playlist of similar stuff in my library and I am digging this playlist.

Oh - and my nano gives me pretty pictures and stuff too!!

Comment on Health Care

2009-10-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

Today the husband, the daughter and I trotted down to the health department to get our swine flu shots. The line goes around the block - almost half a city block. I get out to get in line, Paul dries the neighborhood. The guy comes out and says, there are too many people, you aren't getting shots. I get a hold of Paul, we walk back to the car. We both say grumpily - why doesn't our doctor have this damn shot. Then we realize this is government vaccine distribution. And our bleeding hearts stopped for a little while.

My friend just called, she waited 2 hours and they miscounted, so she didn't get her shot either. OOFF!!

My First Night

2009-10-06T18:11:00.000-07:00

Here he is cuddled on his blanket. He only does this about 10 minutes a day. Mostly he has to be on my lap to sleep.

This one goes non stop - "Annie please!" "Ice cream cone, please" "Carry me, please" At least she always says please, but she doesn't understand that saying please is no guarantee for delivery of service...

Tonight was my first night alone with my children. I used to think stay at home moms seriously must have so much time to read books and eat chocolate - I now realize I was completely WRONG! Thank God I start working again in January...

Lacrosse Season Starts Again

2009-09-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

Here is Weber High Lacrosse's littlest coach. The season starts again.

A Week Out

2009-09-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

I had my baby last week and here's where I am at.

I lost 20 pounds - which is nice.
My bellybutton is now an innie again - it had been an outie for the last few months.
I can sleep on my back again.
I can sleep on my side without an extra pillow and my back doesn't hurt.
I can bend over without passing out.
I can use my laptop because most of that 20 pounds came off my stomach and I have a lap again.
I can walk around without getting tired.
I can lift my daughter again...

Update.
Well - being so far out from the pregnancy was great, I pushed it too hard, and now I am flat - where is that Perc script they gave me at the hospital???

More Matt Damon

2009-09-18T08:57:00.000-07:00

Today while hanging with my new baby boy, What it Takes did a half hour blurb on Matt Damon. Happy Days.

Made me Laugh

2009-09-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

Paul gets Esquire magazine and this edition has a beautiful picture of Matt Damon on the cover. For those of you who don't know, you could ask my best friend from college, my type of guy whom I find attractive is a type that looks like Matt Damon. I've made my fair share of mistakes with guys who look like Matt Damon. I have always thought Paul looks like Matt Damon - in fact I first kind of noticed him after I saw Good Will Hunting right before I had a grad school class with Paul.

Anyway - yesterday the Princess came across the Esquire magazine and said "Daddy!"

Made me laugh.

Fun Driving

2009-09-11T11:25:00.000-07:00

I am huge. My stomach is ginormous and I have a baby inside who moves all over the place all the time. Today I had to drive to the doctor's office to have blood drawn (2nd time this week, 4th time this month) to see if I'm dying yet. I had to drive the little Mazda Protege with its steering wheel that won't move and it's standard transmission so I have to be close enough to push in the clutch and its low to the ground seat. It took forever to get in and maneuver my belly around and under the damn wheel. Then I'm driving and the baby is moving and kicking because he's uncomfortable with the wheel intruding in his space. Then I get to the office and can't get out of the damn car because I have no stomach muscles and can't pull myself up.

Then I get blood drawn and have to do the whole thing all over again. Next vehicle we buy will be a huge, automatic, gas guzzling pick up truck...

Home Visit

2009-09-09T17:25:00.001-07:00

Elizabeth's teachers from pre-school came for a home visit tonight. They were supposed to arrive at 615pm. I fed her (why oh why did I not think about this more carefully) applesauce, corn and spaghettios at about 515pm. She decides to drop the spaghettios on the floor (have you ever dropped a bottle of beer on the floor just to watch the physics of how beer flies everywhere out of a bottle?) and they went EVERYWHERE. I mean, everywhere. Now, I am 9 days away from having a baby, huge, and haven't been able to bend over without falling down in weeks. I am mopping the floor, cleaning up spaghettios and picking up corn and wiping applesauce off the wall because the teachers are coming. She also got spaghettios on her Ted - which meant he had to be cleaned, which meant she complained he was wet.

Her teachers call at 545pm and say, can we come early, how about 5 minutes? I say, sure. I am dripping sweat, washing dishes feverishly so that my kitchen is clean. They arrive and I'm flush and hot and sweaty. My favorite way to receive callers.

But it was wonderful - they were very sweet and Elizabeth was so happy to have them. She showed them all her stuff and explained that Ted was wet because he was left out in the rain from the sky. She cried a little when they left, which I saw as a really good sign she likes them and they are very good.

Now I need to go pass out but I can't because I still have to get her ready for bed...smile...

End of Summer

2009-09-07T17:38:00.000-07:00

When I first moved to Utah 7 years ago, my dad came to visit me in September. He pointed out that clearly I was meant to live in Utah because it was so yellow here. Yellow is my favorite color - always has been, always will be. And he was right - unlike New York where we kind of fade to orange and red during the autumnal months - Utah has this beautiful yellow season before the colors go. All sorts of yellow flowers.

Health Care

2009-09-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I sat at a bar chatting with friends - this is my favorite kind of chatting. No gossip, no bitching, just good conversation covering everything from football to health care. During this conversation, people were commenting that older people or Americans who don't have a problem with Medicare should be totally on board with health care - and I thought at first blush, this is a legitimate argument. But this morning, while up at 4am because I am 2 weeks away from delivery, I decided it wasn't really all that legitimate. Here are my 2 points.

First, Medicare can be argued to have been designed (as was Social Security in some ways) to provide for women who chose not to have careers, never earned money for themselves and raised their families while their husbands went out and earned the bread. These women were fulfilling what had been known as the Republican Mother ideal - doing their job to raise the next generation of citizens rather than developing a career. Their husbands die first - as is often the case - and they have no independent means to take care of themselves. Or there are women who never married but were relegated to the pink ghetto for their entire lives which does not generally include good pensions. These women do not deserve to not have health care when they are old or to have to rely on the kindness of children or strangers to maintain their health. Thus the government steps in to provide for those whom society expected something else from.

Second, the unemployment rate today is 9.7% which means 90% of available people are working. These people will pay into Medicare their entire lives and they deserve to reap what they have sown. They hit 65 and they get to be rewarded for a lifetime of work by not having to work anymore but not having to worry about health care.

Neither of these options cover poor people or people who have children without having waited until they could afford them. Thus - being old and opposed to government health care and in favor of Medicare is not a double standard.

All this being said - I think government should provide a safety net for all its citizens, its poor and children most specifically and I would argue this has nothing to do with age or societal expectations - but that social rights should be as guaranteed as civil and political rights. But that's an entirely different argument.

13 Hours Left

2009-09-04T13:46:00.001-07:00

For those of you who are in the know - I have 13 hours left until departure - I am beginning to understand Mr. Costanza -

SERENITY NOW!!!

Backup Outfit

2009-09-02T07:33:00.000-07:00

Here is my beautiful baby. She's in a teepee at the Treehouse Museum, looking sweet and cute. In an outfit her father chose for her to be the backup outfit - if she gets a mess on her clothes, she has a backup. Which apparently he thought a gray and brown moose t-shirt matches a pink and purple plaid skirt. Seriously. I need to be extra vigilant.

While I Was in Meetings

2009-08-18T14:17:00.000-07:00

While I was in opening school year meetings my baby was out playing. I hate the end of summer.

70s

2009-08-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

It's beautiful out right now. It is in the 70s in August and my backyard looks great - especially since there is a little girl wandering around in it with a skirt on, carrying a Ted and a potty training book.

Oops

2009-08-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

We taught our daughter her body parts - eyes, hair, teeth, nose, legs, elbows - she knows them all. So in mass this weekend, when it's quiet after communion and before the priest sends us on our way, she looks up at us and says "eyes", "teeth", "butt" while pointing to each feature. Everyone in 2 or 3 pews around us heard and started giggling.

Seriously? Couldn't she have said elbows?

My Princess - the Ballerina

2009-08-09T09:54:00.000-07:00

It's hard to get outraged about health care (although my brain explodes a bit still when I read letters to the editor) when this little girl lives with you...

I Gotta Feeling

2009-08-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

I really like Black Eyed Peas - and I never really knew it until I caught a documentary on them the other night and all the music they featured, I was thinking I LOVED this song on the radio when it was out but never knew who it was. Sometimes I wish I were still young and skinny and thus could still reasonably go clubbing because I would love to dance to this music.

Picasso

2009-07-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

I am sure this should bother me, but as it wipes off easily with a wipe and it's pretty freaking cute, I just let her do it. And seriously, who said screens without chalk drawings were cute anyway?

My Backyard

2009-07-11T09:20:00.000-07:00

This is what it looks like from my back deck in the morning as the sun comes up over the mountains.

My Daughter

2009-06-22T18:43:00.001-07:00

As far as genetics go, I have no real evidence this beautiful girl is mine. Blue eyes, I have brown. She has blond hair, I have brown. She is on the low end of weight, I have always been on the high end of weight. No evidence whatsoever that she is anyone but my husband's child. But today, there was a sign of hope that she is actually related to me.

I had angel food cake (which is my favorite cake of all time) and I said, would you like a piece of angel food cake. She screamed and ran full tilt to her chair and piled in. She then sang and danced for the four and a half seconds it took her to ciao it down. Smile. That's all me.

My Husband the Nazi

2009-06-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

Today the princess woke up at 530am, so the husband went up to check on her, picked her up and brought her down to her bed where she fell asleep for the first time ever for 4 hours and we all got up at 930am. I thought it was adorable - watching her sleep between us with her little head on our huge grown up pillows.

The husband said, that was adorable, don't get used to it.

He's such a parenting Nazi - I see many clashes over the years...

My Family

2009-06-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a while - so I post cuteness in defense.

Serious Cuteness

2009-05-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

Today my baby came out wearing patent leather shoes - I think she thinks she's tapping. She is so cute!!

Good News

2009-05-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had my 22 week u/s and everything looks good.The baby is healthy and doing well. So in four months we'll have another crazy child running around this house.

Memorial Day

2009-05-25T12:43:00.001-07:00

Things to think about this weekend...

The Duke played lacrosse with his high school players - and then realized he's actually old, although still faster than most of his players. He thinks he broke a rib.
The Duke rode his first horse - which is the horse they use for the four year olds to learn on - and he was very cute all slumped over trying desperately not to fall off at the slowest gait the horse could go.
We had family over last night for a fun fun bbq - our Utah family who so kindly adopted us giving the Princess all sorts of fun cousins.
Syracuse won the lacrosse national championship - and now that I am married to a lacrosse aficionado I actually enjoy watching lacrosse.
We're having friends over tonight for a bbq - my pal who is super savvy on interior design is going to help me unfrump my common spaces (I have enough skill to know it's not good but not enough skill to achieve goodness - my music is generally at this level as well)
My head exploded today when the lame little one penny printer Apple gave me when I bought this damn iMac refused to print - I mean, seriously, isn't the point of a printer to print? It seems to me that if you are taking 10 pages to print incorrectly one page while your test page prints perfectly - then you are a shitty printer.
I went to the grocery store and used the self-check out - which always reminds me of my first career as a cashier at the Price Chopper during which I excelled at the items scanned contest.
I am remembering my family who have preceded me into whatever happens next and hoping they won't travel too far down that path that I can't find them when it's my turn.

Photography

2009-05-24T12:27:00.000-07:00

I bought a new camera - a sweet, swanky Nikon D-60 which I love. Very much. I am remembering how much fun photography is and wondering why I ever switched from photo-journalism. I took 215 pictures yesterday of nothing. I took 300 pictures the day before of lacrosse - lacrosse!!! And Brad Pitt wasn't even playing - although a Matt Damon look-alike was (smile).

Last night my favorite photographer on the planet came over to show me how to do amazing things with digital stuff. I now realize just how much work she does and even more amazed. I had NO freaking idea how much work that was. And the work she does is fantastically brilliant. And I am even more convinced she deserves many accolades and prizes...

Way Too Long

2009-05-23T07:58:00.000-07:00

It has been way too long and I know it. I am failing in all my personal stuff because I have NO time. So here's what I've been up to.

Went to Washington D.C. to find housing for WSU interns - that was a great trip!
Went to a million lacrosse games for my husband's HS season.
Graded 100 students and got them finished.
Prepped 3 classes for the summer - all of which changed so they were new.
I'm getting huge in my pregnancy which prompted my husband last night to say "I don't think I've ever seen you this big before" - thanks.
Sleeping little, stressing lots.

Redux

2009-05-05T19:24:00.001-07:00

A million years ago in an entirely different life - the Duchess was a photojournalist (she even has a degree in newspaper journalism from a top notch university to prove that original dream).
As things go - this dream was replaced by a bigger and better dream - to be a college professor. Neither career would ever pay 6 figures - which is an indicator of her total lack of commitment to capitalism or her total idiocy. Sometimes I think somewhere in some alternative universe there is a Duchess running around taking pictures of people and telling their story. I remember wishing/hoping there'd be a major war so I could be a war reporter - so maybe in some alternate universe the Duchess has just been shot...

Anyway - today I bought a real camera - not a point and click - but a real camera. I can feel some old muscles revving up and some old skill sets coming back to the fore. Pretty soon I'll be looking for a dark room and some film...