RIP Tree

We had a dry hurricane here last week. We had wind registering 100 mph at the University. Two miles away at my house our 60 year old huge evergreen went down. I drove home increasingly nervous about our tree because I saw tree after tree down. When I turned left on my street I saw this:

I said to the kids, oh my god, stay in the car. I think our tree ate a car. I got out of the car and ran over to find a man standing there. He said he was stopped at the stop sign in front of our house, looked up and the tree fell on him. Down the road a bit a tree totaled a car - just smooshed it - it was in all the papers and all over the news. But my tree landed on this guy in his car and did no damage.

Here you see the tree from the street - notice that it is blocking most of the road. The white truck behind the tree is the City guy who said to me "it's your tree." I said, no shit, I know it's my tree. Let me wave my magic wand to fix it - because what they wanted was for me to pick it up and move it off the street. When I indicated the odds of my moving it in any kind of timely fashion were pretty slim, he called some other city guys and they chain sawed the guy's car out of the tree and cleared the tree off the road. Miraculously, the guy backed his car up and drove away - he has made no claim against my homeowner's insurance. Then two kids showed up and asked if we wanted to have him cut it all up and take it away for $500 - I said, yeah, go for it.

I cried and I laughed as I told this story. On my little quarter acre of land I have - had - 8 trees, now I have 7. And I loved my big evergreen - it housed the magpies who came every year to teach their babies to fly. It blocked the sun from the house and made the Princess's room very cool in the summer.

Once, when I was crying, the Princess told me it would be okay, we could plant another tree. She's right, and we will.

Fall Fun 2011

Black Island Farms

Three years ago a whole crowd of my friends brought their kids to Black Island Farms and we got pumpkins and we played and had a lot of fun. I have not been able to get that crowd together since, so this year I went alone with my kids and one friend. Even my husband was not available, so my friend played the role of surrogate spouse.

 When your husband is unavailable, you get to do all the cool stuff. Usually I am taking the pictures, this time I got to ride the slides. David and I did every slide together, even one that Elizabeth decided she did not want to do. Every slide.

Also, when your husband is not available, you are allowed to be a more permissive parent. I let David go alone in this little piggie ride - of course, his big sister was right in front of him, but off he went being pulled by a tractor. I actually could not see him for about 30 seconds, which was pretty scary.

We ended the day in a pumpkin patch, and we each got a pumpkin. Elizabeth picked for all of us and picked the biggest, fattest pumpkins she could find. And, of course, when your husband is not with you, you get to carry all the damn pumpkins.

Wonderful day!!

In the Black

This was a hard week for me. I got a stomach bug that resulted in my not being able to stand for two days, missing two days of work, losing my voice, and 6 pounds. Then, as I rebounded from the stomach bug, I got a major head cold so now I can't breathe. I had sushi last night and at one point almost suffocated because I couldn't breathe around the dynamite roll in my mouth.

My nose hurts, my head hurts, my stomach hurt for a long time, and I am tired because I can't sleep.

BUT - through relentless hand washing and carefulness, my children have remained bug free. That is a positive. AND - my mammogram was normal this time as was my chick app't, so I am happy. No doctor's appointments until next August!!!

Thus, while down a bit for the count, I consider myself in the black.

Technological Addiction

Yesterday I went to work without my iPad.

That was awful. I will not do that again.

Interesting how so quickly some gadget becomes so damn important.

David

Two years ago today I had a beautiful baby boy. I remember that the song Beautiful Boy by John Lennon ran through my head over and over.

He was adorable and he made our family complete. And we were made symmetrical by his birth. Two brown eyed people, two blue eyed people; two Leos, two Virgos; two boys, two girls; two grown ups, two kids.

I loved spending time with him - reading, cuddling, being cute. He has been the best little brother and the best youngest member of our family.

His sister loves him very much and it has been wonderful watching the two of them figure out how to live with each other. They have such different personalities.

We love you David!!

My Baby Started Soccer

Can it possibly be that it is four years later? My baby is playing soccer. She is adorable. And she loves her uniform - she is wearing it all day today.

Here she is - baby power!!

Where Did Summer Go?

I spent two weeks here this summer - just two weeks. When I was younger, I believe I spent many weeks here over the summer. I am sad I won't be there again until next summer. Two short semesters and then I'll be driving back to Sacandaga. To spend time in the Adirondacks. To play. To let my soul revive. Summers go by way too fast - I am lucky, I have chosen a career that allows me to travel to New York in the summers and be there for a long time to recharge my batteries. I love Utah - I love living here. But I need to be at the lake for big chunks of time.

Next Generation

How many times at Sacandaga have I dug a huge hole? I think I may have stopped doing so about 25 years ago but I did again this summer. Why? Because I brought my kids to Sacandaga and they dug a huge hole.

We are now on the third generation of kids at Sacandaga - my dad started when he was 2 or 3, I started when I was nine or ten months, and both Elizabeth and David were there before they were one. The best thing about it is that pictures like this look exactly the same - there's some of my Dad and some of me and now some of them - doing the exact same things.

While the world changes - Elizabeth listens to an iPod and I listened to CDs and Dad listened to vinyl - what children love to do does not change at all - digging huge holes in the sand, just because you can.

Doctor's Appointments

Almost six years ago I was told at a doctor's appointment, which all people had assured me would be fine, that I was going to lose a baby I had been carrying in my womb for 21 weeks. This meant that all those odds that tell you if you have a solid heartbeat at 12 weeks you will have a 98% chance of having a healthy baby did not apply in my case - I had defeated the odds, and not in a good way.

Going back a year prior, I was told I had a weird looking uterus and I had a slim to none chance of having children. This was a result of a series of doctor's appointments and procedures from a horrifying experience with dye to a surgery.

I survived these things and now I have two beautiful children. But the cloud that hangs over me from those doctor's appointments has never really gone away. I had never been given bad news before then and appointments were just run of the mill. Now I dread every doctor's appointment that anyone I love goes to - every single one. Even though since 2005 I have had many normal appointments, many many more than bad, the feeling of having a doctor tell you something awful while you sit in a sanitized room stays with me. Somehow I have always believed that the sanitary nature of those doctor's rooms makes those meetings even more horrifying - you should really only get bad news when armageddon is happening around you.

The thing is, I know that whatever news I get, I will survive it. That's the worst part - actually - surviving. Adjusting your whole existence to accommodate the slice into your soul.

Tuesday my baby boy goes in for a procedure - that I have had, that my friends have had, that the doctor assures me will be no big deal and will just confirm her assumption that everything is fine. The cloud in my head that has been there now for six years is turning just a bit black. I am praying every time I think to pray - which might be 7 to 10 times a day.

Please pray for my baby boy too.

Morning Car Ride

Princess: Mama, put on Shane's song.

Duchess: Okay. (puts on Mulan song make a man out of you and think to self, wow Donny Osmond's voice is pretty good, and think, holy crap did I just think that?) Starts singing: be a man, be a man...

Princess: Mama, they asked me to do it.

Duchess: Okay (thank God because I am now singing all the words to a Donny Osmond song and someone needs to shoot me)

Princess: (looking out the window) time is rushing toward us, before the Huns arrive...

Great ride in.

Put Your Hand on Your Tummy

While driving this morning, I was commentating on all those drivers who seriously have no clue how to drive and who would very much benefit by my being in their backseat.

My daughter said, "Momma, put your hands on your tummy and breathe in and breathe out. Then you will be calm."

Love her - my conscience.

Lily and the Camera

Every once in a while - okay maybe once a day - the Princess grabs the camera and starts shooting. As I am not one to censor artistic freedom, being a big supporter of the first amendment, I let her go. I love to see the pictures she takes. Over the months she has developed a kind of artistic sense - used to be all thumbs and fingers but now she arranges objects for portraits.

A favorite subject is toys - any toy. Here she has placed Bert in the car wash. I kind of like the look on his face.

But what I find most interesting is that I see the world from her perspective. Below she's in the kitchen taking a picture of Paul at the computer. It never occurred to me until I saw this how intrusive into her sight line the peninsula in our kitchen is. Just look at that counter jutting out. I used to giggle when she'd go around it about three feet away, but now I realize why.