I love Flowers

I am a Snapdragon What Flower Are You?

are you Surprised?

You Have A Type A Personality

You are hyper, energetic, and always on the mood You tend to succeed at everything you attempt And if you don't succeed at first, you quickly climb your way to the top! You could be called a workaholic, but you also make time for fun As long as it's high energy and competitive, you're interested You have the perfect personality for business and atheltic success

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

it is So Humid, it is Flooding

I love living in Utah. There are many reasons I love living in Utah: it's beautiful (mountains are stunning...nothing else to say, stunning), it's far away from home (love my family but I love the fact that I am an adult and no one remembers I used to hate losing), it's mostly Republican making my Democratism fun (questioning all the time if your politics are correct because everyone assumes you are wrong is challenging), it's mostly Mormon making my Catholicism a minority (things people say to me about being Catholic while in New York would be non-pc in Utah).

But I am thinking that maybe the number one reason I love living in Utah is it is NOT HUMID. For the love of Christ, humidity makes me cranky and it makes my hair frizzy and it makes me ache for central air and ... the list goes on and on.

It is so humid in New York this week that the rivers have flooded the highway. I mean...how humid does it have to get???? Clearly this is too much humid!!!

do Not Interrupt Someone Else's Conversation With Your Bullshit

Last night a group of friends and I went to a small town, rookie league baseball game. It was fantastic. There was singing and beer drinking and chatting with people around us. There was an old man who yelled at us along the third base line every time a left handed batter got up because we could be killed by a foul ball. He was vindicated when an old woman got beaned by the ball and had to be walked out by security. There was Oggie the Raptor who danced and raced little children.

This was so much fun.

And it was so much fun, except for the men sitting in front of us. Here's the story. At one point our new friends went to buy beer and all of my group of friends except for a girlfriend and myself went to smoke. So there we were, my girlfriend and I, chatting about our new friends. Oh by the way, they were gay and one of them was in the military. I say how cool he's in the military. This big, beefy guy turns around and says "Let's hope not." My girlfriend gives him what for, as he deserved, and I wus out, as I generally do. I say, we are not having this conversation and looked sternly at the large man. He then turned around and he and his two beefy friends didn't smile or have fun the rest of the night.

So, what is my point? Why do you (nasty beefy man) wait until two women are sitting alone before you turn around and say something nasty? Were you afraid of all the men who were around us for the other parts of the game?...very brave. Why do you feel the need to eavesdrop and then turn around and say something nasty? We were not talking to you, we were not talking loudly, we were not obnoxious, we were sitting two bleachers behind you having a quiet private conversation.

Rule: if you are a jerk (insert all sorts of swear words here) who is pissed because your penis is small, do not go to baseball games. Clearly you cannot handle people having fun around you, so don't oppress the rest of us with your inadequacies.

today I became Youth Minister at my Church

In the grand scheme of my life I think I am always trying to make the world a better place. Smile at people, generally. Try to examine the way politics works to help people live better. Adopt puppies when they need a loving home. Feed my cats so well they are chunk a doodles.

So now I am a youth minister for my church. This is fabulous except we didn't have a youth ministry at my church growing up so I really have no idea what a youth minister does. I have googled for ideas but not much has come up. I guess there's not many people out there writing up little ideas about how to herd cats...oh, I mean, minister Catholic youth.

I am sure I will think of something brilliant. Smile. Any ideas? Any thoughts as to how to achieve said brilliance?

today is my Daddy's Birthday

One of the problems with living in Utah is you miss birthdays. Today is my father's birthday, as well as Father's Day. I guess when my grandmother had a son it probably didn't occur to her that if he ever had children he would always have to share his birthday weekend with Father's Day. Kind of a bummer.

Anyway. I just called and they are headed to the lake and my stepmother's family all came over last night for his birthday. This means that my father had a birthday party without me there and will have a Father's Day/birthday event today without me there. It doesn't really matter that I'm not there because in the grand scheme of things, the only person who matters on a birthday is the person to whom the birthday belongs. But it's the weirdest sensation not being there.

When you live far away you really don't exist. It's kind of interesting to be the person who everyone remembers is related but not around. In fact, it's unclear when you live far away that you are even remembered. In my life I will pay for this. When you are the child who lives far away you don't do any of the obligatory things like help out with moves and new furniture and attending baby showers and birthday parties and fourth of July picnics. Eventually, because you haven't done the obligatory things, you start to be resented as the child who never does anything while the children who live nearby are the heroes. Even though technically I am an only child, I have stepsiblings on one side and I have many homebound cousins on the other so I will and do get compared. And then, finally, in your adult life, you are the one who gets discussed as never being around and thus having let everyone down.

We have already been getting the language of having let people down. When we lost the baby a number of people said to us, if you had been home or it's so hard with you in Utah. (kind of ironic, as the loss of a baby is a tragedy for the people who lose the baby and really not so much for the people who live somewhere else but the entitlement to cry extends to all those people and you end up having to take care of them...for another post when I am feeling more up to it) We have been advised to find work in New York so we can move home. Never mind that we love it here. Never mind that we feel very happy here. Never mind that the only person I really need around all the time is my husband and vice versa for him so we could really live in Timbuktu and it would be fine with us. This is why so many people can attend high school reunions. They all live home to avoid being the child who lets everyone down and so they're nearby when the high school has a reunion. But I digress.

Is it selfish to live far away? Is it selfish to make a choice for one's own reasons, whatever they are, to live more than drive's distance from familiy?

the First Amendment Does Not Apply to Us

Garcetti v Carballos
May 30, 2006.

In a 5-to-4 decision, the court held that public employees' free-speech rights are protected when they speak out as citizens on matters of public concern, but not when they speak out in the course of their official duties.

This is a major concern because it may apply to professors at public universities. Those of us who have chosen to teach at public universities because we feel strongly about doing public service in our career may be at risk. I do not think it is a public service to not speak because some organization, Students for Academic Freedom says you aren't teaching them what they want to hear or basically that you are not indoctrinating them in the conservative right message. I do not think it is a public service to not speak because David Horowitz thinks professors who are liberal are dangerous.

My dissertation adviser is a Republican. He worked with Dick Cheney while in Washington, D.C. Another member of my committee is a Democrat. He was educated at Berkeley. Both were very clear about their politics in private and both were excellent professors. Neither indoctrinated me and made me political based on their views. I went to a public university for my graduate degree and never felt stifled to offer my opinion as they did not feel stifled to offer their opinion.

I wonder what Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson would think about this ruling that basically says they could not speak freely while serving in the first Cabinet of the United States. No, I need not wonder, I know exactly what they would think.

my Puppies Are Not Truck Puppies

Although I do not have children, my two labrador retrievers and my three cats play the role of dependents quite nicely. Unfortunately I can't write them off on my taxes as such, but believe me, they are. And today my husband and I had a parenting moment.

Our friend and my husband are going for a hike up Waterfall Canyon. I say to husband, how can you hike without the puppies? He says, easily. I say, but they really want to go. He says, fantastic, they're not going. So I look sad and pathetic and he topples. It helps that the puppies look very excited about going anywhere. He says, just so you know this may not be good. I say, it will be fine.

Our friend arrives to pick them all up, and I say to our friend, are you sure it's okay to take the puppies? He says, yes. I say, they've never been in a truck before. He says, it's bred into them. I say, are you sure, he says, yes (and I am sure he is thinking you are so annoying...they're dogs, they'll be fine).

Off they go. It takes about half a second for them to both get in the back of the truck. My husband and friend hop in the front, Mac hops out of the back. Mind you, they've never been in a truck before so they don't really understand it. And clearly, it's not bred into them. The men hop out and say hop back in, both puppies hop back in, the men get in the truck, the Mac hops out. So my husband says, I'll ride in the back. I can see the patience, which wasn't real high for taking the puppies in the first place, is waning. He hops in the back. Mac gets in the back with him and lies down, our friend gets in the front, Hobbes hops out. I walk up and get Hobbes to hop back in, I close the back of the truck (whatever that flappy thing is called) and Hobbes hops back out. Husband is really not impressed at this point. Unclear how our friend is feeling. I open the flappy thing again, Hobbes hops in, husband grabs collar. Mac is looking thrilled because at this moment he is the favorite puppy because he has accepted his fate of being in the back of the truck. I close the flappy thing and they drive away. Our friend alone in the cab, my husband in the back of the truck with two puppies. I wish I had my camera because I really can't do justice to the image of that.

I am thinking I should call a lawyer because perhaps a divorce is imminent.

the Pomp and Ceremony of it all

I am a Catholic which surprises many of my friends and family. But, I am a Catholic. I am a pretty devout Catholic. This doesn't mean I am joining Mel Gibson in any retreat and I don't wear a celice like they do in Opus Dei, but it does mean that I attend church fairly regularly (at least 3 times a month) and I miss it when I don't go. It does mean that I am a lector (someone who reads the liturgy during mass) and a catechist (someone who, as my father insists, indoctrinates the next generation of Catholics) and a believer.

Last night I saw one of the reasons why I am such a believer. One of my favorite parts of my church is the ritual of it. In Villette the main English Protestant character goes to France and is stunned by the Catholics. Well, more to the point, horrified. But even in her horror she comments on the ritual of the Catholic Church and how beautiful it was.

My parish built a new church and we had the dedication of the church ritual. It took about two hours. It was full of holy water and holy oil and incense. There was darkness until the ritual lighting of the church and than ahhh there was light. There were hymns in Latin, what other church can lay claim to hymns in Latin? All the hair on my skin rose when we sang the Gloria. This was stunning. Not horrifying, stunningly beautiful.

Thank God I believe and am part of it. Now only if my skirt hadn't torn during the communion line and I hadn't worn nice pristine white panties which were painfully obvious through the tear. Smile.

the Duchess is a Radio Star

Last night some people were driving across I-80 on their way from California to a summer home in Iowa and decided to listen to a little talk radio. They scroll through the am channels searching for something really brilliant and they come across Sean Hannity...blah...they search more and hear Laura Ingraham...boring...and then, like the sun breaking through the clouds (or I guess since they're listening it's more like a great sax solo breaking through a jazz bridge) they hear brilliance on KLO.

They hear the Duchess explaining why the Republicans are floundering about looking for an issue. Why in the last two weeks is there a flurry of old conservative crap? English as a national language, Constitutional Amendment to define marriage as between a man and a woman, Paris Hilton gets to keep her fortune tax break, et cetera et cetera. The Duchess states very clearly it is because their tapped issue this year, or immigration, is not panning out since the American people tend to be much nicer in their immigration opinions than the Republican party and really they want the government focusing on the Iraqi situation, health care, the economy, or gas prices. None of these works for Republicans so they trot out English (fail)...ummm, Gay Marriage ban (fail)...well, maybe, Death Tax Permanent Expiration (fail)...Then the Duchess very cleverly predicts all three incumbents will win in Utah Congressional elections...way out on a limb considering the incumbency rate is like 96 percent for Congressional elections.

These people in the car are very impressed with the Duchess and decide to never vote Republican again. If only the Duchess were very tall, had long blonde hair, and great legs, she may be listened to as an expert in politics, because clearly, as Ann Coulter demonstrates, these are the criteria.

Rediscovered Music

I was sifting through my husband's cds (no we have not mixed them, although we have thrown away duplicates, who knows what will happen if we divorce...you get the dogs, I get the U2 cd...) and found Third Eye Blind. Oh my, how much I loved this music when I was writing my dissertation. I used to listen to it over and over on my old 90lb laptop. And somehow it ended up in Paul's cd collection. Anyway, I have put it on my ipod and now I am listening and listening and listening.

My particular fave is In the Background which played on Buffy quite a bit the season after she killed Angel, it was her I am missing Angel song. And then there's I Want You, which is pure sex. It's one of those songs I've wanted to have playing over and over while making love (it's never happened, I've just wanted it to). And Motorcycle Drive By is ... can't verbalize it.

Music is specifically linked to my soul in ways I can't describe and when I rediscover a song that meant a lot to me or I listened to a particular summer all the thoughts I had return. So much of what I think about and do is analytic and cerebral and music's effect is so visceral. Thank God I found this cd again.

What else is hiding in Paul's collection? Let's go exploring....

The Heat, My God, The Heat

It has now topped 90 degrees here in beautiful Utah. It is hot. I hate the heat. I mean I really hate the heat. And it looks like it may be a long, hot summer. And my father decided to marry on July 8th in New York, where not only will it be hot, it will be humid. Moist. Dripping sweaty wet. Ugh.