on Company Behavior

I just returned from almost a week with my husband's family. They are lovely people. Different from me in many ways but lovely people. I have so much fun just watching them be who they are and it's interesting to watch my husband interact with them. Of course I think of them all he is the best product in their family, but I imagine my sister-in-law thinks the same of his brother, her husband. And I imagine that's natural. But I digress.

When I spend time with my husband's family I am on company behavior. I am committed to the view that all people should be on company behavior when with other people's families and generally with other people.

What is company behavior? Clear your own dishes. Offer to clear all the dishes of people around you. Strip your bed at the end of the visit. Offer to strip everyone else's bed. Make sure when work is being done that you are nearby to help. Laugh at everyone's jokes even when they are not funny. Don't stray too much into God, guns, gays (and in Ogden, gondolas) in conversation and try not to tell people off when they are racist, homophobic, sexist or any of another number of ists. You're on company behavior, after all, and not on a proselytizing crusade.

I saw an example of what not to be on company behavior...or a clear example of someone who does not know that the stick shoved up her ass does stink. You do not, on company behavior, send back your meal that your friend's father paid for. You do not, on company behavior, tell everyone about the Yale degree you are two years from finishing. You do not, on company behavior, wander around in a itsy bitsy bikini when everyone else is wearing sweatshirts because it is freezing.

I watched this young lady and thought "where in tarnation is my can of whoop ass?" But you see, company behavior also entails not kicking the ass of your husband's cousin's friend's girlfriend, so I just smiled and pretended she mattered.