on my Uncle Jim

My father's older sister married a guy who has been my Uncle Jim my whole life. Uncle Jim is fantastically fun to be around. Everything he does is larger than life. Every event is a story.

Let me share a funny story.

My aunt and I decide to throw an after-wedding brunch for my father and my new stepmother. Brilliant idea except it makes everyone nervous because no woman really wants a huge party (and we have 50 people attending) in her house when she's not around (she's staying in a hotel after her wedding) so I am on edge. I feel like the 16 year old kid who is having a party in my parents' house while they are away on a weekender. Of course I never did that because I am a loser who never does anything really wrong with other people's stuff, but I felt the way I imagine a 16 year old kid would feel. Anyway, I am very nervous. I want everything to be perfect. My aunt wants everything to be perfect.

In an effort to help out my uncle:

BREAKS THE MIRROR IN THE NEWLY REMODELED BATHROOM
PUTS A MAJOR HOLE IN THE NEWLY REMODELED BATHROOM SINK
BREAKS MY PARENTS' ALARM CLOCK
KNOCKS A PICTURE OFF THE WALL

My husband suggests that perhaps Uncle Jim should spend the duration of his visit in the garage with plasticware. My cousin, my Uncle's son, said, it's always good to have someone around to clear the tension. What possibly could I do to the house that would be at all noteworthy or even noticeable after all that?

I laughed so hard that I chuckle now as I write it. I told my uncle it was hilarious, he said, it's not hilarious when you're the one who did it, which, I imagine, is true but makes it all even funnier. I see myself walking down the driveway with my uncle, like two teenagers to report on the weekend, to tell the parents what has happened.

My dad laughed almost as hard as I did.